What I love about coaching…
Is that coaching is forward looking. That is to say that we do not have to deal with all the stories from birth until now and heal them in order to move forward. My coaching view is that I take you where you are now, as you are, and look for tools, strategies and ways to elevate you to live the life of your desires.
I love that coaching is client centered and experiential.
I believe that clients own within themselves an innate ability to know what is best for themselves. I call this resonance and wisdom. When we hear or read something that is true for us, we feel it in our bodies where our internal guidance system resides. We then can take inspired action from that place which is what I call wisdom. Sometimes we just need someone to help us remember these things and call them out of us. In practical terms this means we move at a pace that you decide, on topics that are of your making and together we co-create obtainable goals that you will be able to see progress for yourself.
This is so important in our lives. We have a need for significance, a feeling that we matter. In our fast paced, even hectic lives we hardly have time to breathe. We move from task to task to ‘just get it done’. It’s the kids, the job, the partner or spouse, the volunteer time and on and on without a moment to invest in ourselves. Coaching lets us go from a harried outward center to a peaceful inward center.
Coaching is an investment that has an excellent ROI.
Let’s say, for example, you have left your dead life partnership or marriage. You have moved on and are ready for the next adveture but it has been so long since you dated. Or perhaps you are doing just fine in your love life but know that it could expand to a new level. I have been there and also have tools to Mostly what I love about coaching is that I get to work with leading edge women and men in the busiest parts of their lives who feel invisible, struggle with low self-esteem and live in drama. I coach them with my JoyWorks Awarehouse coaching framework so that they can feel witnessed, embody confidence and enjoy peace of mind.
A quote that I have found to be very meaningful to my life and what my business is based on is by a 13th century poet named Rumi. He wrote, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Even though you may see a courageous, confident woman. I have not always been one. My life started out very different from what it is now. I was desperate, desolate and feeling like Darth Vader was my father. I dove deep into darkness.
When I was three years old – so tender, so young – my mother went crazy. I don’t mean she became a mass murderer or anything like that but just crazy enough to have electro shock therapy. For those of you who are not familiar with it, I suggest you go watch the old movie with Jack Nicholson in “One Who Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. My mom told me it was like wiping the slate of her mind clean. She was never institutionalized but my earliest memories are of her not being around. For me, it was like wiping my mom away and left me for years with abandonment issues.
If that wasn’t enough, at 5, I was molested and his shame became my own. The two experiences left me in a life long battle with depression. I was crazy like many in the boomer generation, sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll! But my major difference than many of my peers was that I was suicidal at 19.
I was able to beat the suicidal feelings obviously but the persistent feelings of shame did not leave me until my 40’s when I chose that no matter what, I was going to die or get better. I went into therapy for 2 years and did my forgiveness work. It worked, I had some relief. But the reaction to life as a victim had become a habit. A habit that left my heart feeling like I had a stone in the middle of my chest.
I wish I could tie this all up into a sweet bow for you but I can’t. There was no one big aha moment but a series of persistent changes. My mom passed away. I got a divorce from an alcoholic. My kids had moved away or were wanting to move away from their home state of Texas. I went into personal development with a passion. I decided to move to Oregon where I really belonged.
Did I mention that part of me is a scholar? I love to learn – couple that with years of being stymied by shame and personal development workshops was my perfect storm, my diving deeply into love! I reinvented myself. And I did it, all in the name of move up the emotional ladder. Finally, I found experiential workshops like the ones I now teach. It was there, in an exercise that took place in complete safety that I had my release from shame.
Now I struggle with many of the same things you do. However, I have tools to deal with my workbook pages as my fiancé likes to call life’s challenges. Gone is the rock in my chest replaced by ever expanding joy and happiness. Now I have my own coach when I want help navigating life as it is, set goals and find new tools. Challenges do not last long and my habit of being a victim is moving on so that I can be the woman before you – strong, brave, wise, perfectly imperfect and loving life to the fullest.
I believe that anyone can benefit from coaching. You know you need to do this. It’s time to stop the procrastination, the distractions and make the investment into yourself, your family and your world. It’s true that you can meditate by yourself or that you could talk to a good friend but they won’t have new tools for you to try or the meditation may just not be enough. If you are ready to dive into love, to find a new direction for your life or revamp the existing one, then you are ready to engage into coaching with me or someone like me. Or you too can make a habit of diving into the darkness.